I REMEMBER MRS IVY TOW

Karen Lee

As a Spiritual Mother to Her Students

Mrs Ivy Tow was a teacher of Greek and a matron of Far Eastern Bible College (FEBC). I remember her most as a spiritual mother to her students. She taught us many spiritual lessons in word and in deed, and would not hesitate to correct or rebuke when necessary. She continued to carry out this role even after students graduated from the College. I remember how she would readily take up the opportunity to visit them when possible (even if it means traveling with the aid of a walking stick/umbrella) and would ask about the work of the ministry. She would encourage them in the work of the Lord and would also continue to offer her advice when necessary. It seemed to me that once her student, we are always her student, and she continued to love and care for us like she did before.

As a Woman Who Gave of Her Best in the Lord’s Service

Mrs Tow gave of her best in the Lord’s service. As my teacher in Elementary Greek, I remember how she marked my worksheets or test papers so meticulously. As our matron, I remember the daily afternoons where I would see her cooking lunch for us in the kitchen, each meal planned with much thought and prepared with much effort. She would make sure she involved herself in things she was able to do, whether it was sitting in meetings with student cooks, going marketing with students, planning for thanksgiving services and dinners, preparing for the FEBC Mersing retreats, or making sure the needs of the College were met, even when she could simply leave it to others to do. She gave of her best in her service to the Lord and expected the same of her students as well.

As One Who Saw Beyond the Externals

Although Mrs Tow expected students to do well in what God had given them to do, whether in their studies or in their duties, she was not one who was content with just the externals. I remember how I damaged all the whiteboards in the classroom where Mrs Tow taught us Elementary Greek by cleaning it until words written on the board with the whiteboard marker could not be erased with the duster (or something like that). I remember vividly the fear in my heart when I called Mrs Tow in the night to confess my wrongdoing, all prepared for a big scolding. To my surprise, Mrs Tow did not scold me at all (even though I rightly deserved it). On the contrary, she spoke most kindly and gently to me and told me that she always noticed the whiteboards were very clean when she went in for her Greek class. She even comforted me and said that the whiteboards were old already and it was time for a change. Mrs Tow also would not let me bear the cost of changing the whiteboards even though I had offered to do so for the damage I had caused.

In the things done for her, Mrs Tow somehow was able to tell the effort that was put into doing them even though the effort put in was not spoken of, and she always made sure to show her appreciation even though they were done by an amateur. I remember how I hesitated each time I wanted to give her a handmade gift to express love and appreciation during a special occasion or in response to the kindness I had received from her, and I hesitated because I did not think what I did was nice enough as a gift for her even though I had tried my best. Despite the struggles in my heart, Mrs Tow always responded very graciously, telling me repeatedly that it was “so/very nice”. I also could not forget how underserving I felt when she called me “an artist” when I clearly knew I was not, and what I tried to do was far from the work of “an artist.”

Although a “perfectionist” in the work of the Lord, it seemed to me that externals were not all that mattered to her. What was important was that we give of our best, and we do it with a heart sincere out of love for God and His people, and with the fear of God in our heart. Mrs Tow, whom I knew and remembered, was not one who would be impressed by one’s good grades or paper qualifications. Rather, she desired that we serve the Lord with a good heart, faithfully, sacrificially and unconditionally.

As One Who Made the Most of the Life God Has Given to Her

Mrs Tow knew there would come a time when she would no longer be able to do things she used to do, hence she would do so while she was still able to. Whatever her hands found to do for the Lord, she would do so with her might. She would wake up as early as the students and would not be idle but would occupy her time in the service of the Lord.

I remember her telling me that while she still had strength and was able to walk, she would want to travel, especially to Israel, where her Saviour once walked, even though she had been there many times. With her walking stick/umbrella, she would join Bible camps, visit others, and go where the Lord would lead her. During her time at the elder care, she did not hesitate also to speak to her good friend, Aunty Mary (a Roman Catholic) if she knew where she would be going after her time on earth is spent. As long as she still had breath, Mrs Tow continued to live for the Lord and serve Him with every opportunity He gave her. She would make her life count for Him.

As a Loving Wife, Mother and Grandmother

Since the homegoing of her husband, Rev Dr Timothy Tow, Mrs Tow continued to remember him fondly, and each time she spoke of him it was with much respect and love. Mrs Tow also loved her daughter and son deeply and would speak fondly of them to me (although not in detail), each time she thought of them. She would talk fondly about her grandson, Joshua, showing me photos of him when he was much younger, and thank God for blessing her with two good granddaughters, May Ann and May Lynn, who took good care of her. She thought often of May Ann and May Lynn even though she would see them every day and would ask me if May Lynn was still around in College when I dropped by for a visit in the evening, and when the night fell, if I saw May Ann coming home.

Not only was Mrs Tow a loving mother and grandmother to her own, she was also a loving mother to her students whom the Lord brought under her care. She would make sure we were well-fed both physically and spiritually, and would be very concerned if we were not in good health. She would pay extra attention to our needs during the exam period, encouraging us, reminding us to study hard and to pray, providing supper in case we felt hungry while preparing for the exams, and making sure we slept when it was “lights out.”

Mrs Tow would sometimes also bring her students out and treat them to meals. I cannot forget also the red packets she would prepare for her students during Chinese New Year, even though they may not be Chinese. It was her way of showing love to her students, not only through her generous giving, but also the words of encouragement she would meticulously write on the red packets. Her eyes were always actively watching and on the lookout for others.

Mrs Tow’s love for those whom God had placed in her care did not end with their time in the College. Her care and concern for them continued. I remember the time I followed Mrs Tow and sister Eileen to visit my classmate in Malaysia who was not in good health. Mrs Tow would travel, even out of the country, with her walking stick/umbrella, to visit her student who was not well.

Mrs Tow’s love for me was no less. She would scold me when I did not make it a point to go into the kitchen to greet her each morning, and she would make me sit with her or walk next to her. Mrs Tow also had a special ability to find some “strength” in me to affirm or assure. She would make sure to let me know by her actions that I was not forgotten or unnoticed or any less than others, and she would make sure to let me know that I am loved.

Mrs Tow continued to show me love even after my time in the College. She would always ask about my mum and my sisters. One of the first things she asked me when I visited her in the hospital was to ask how my mum and my sisters were doing, and this was despite the fact that she had an oxygen mask on. Knowing how it felt like to be lonely, she often expressed her concern for me, that I would also experience the same (although it was not a concern to me). Like a loving mother, she also told me once, out of concern, that she desired that God would bless me with a life partner (although I was happily single, abiding in God’s good will). When saying that, she was also mindful that God would take care of us.

Mrs Tow had a good sense of humour, and she was skilful in using it. One of the ways was seen in her exclaiming to me when she saw me coming by for a visit that she had not seen me for hundred/thousand years. It was definitely not that long, but it was her gentle rebuke that I should come by more often. It was uniquely Mrs Tow’s way of telling me that she missed my visit.

As a Woman Who Loved the Lord and His Word

Mrs Tow loved the Lord and His Word. She enjoyed listening to messages and teachings from God’s Word while she was in the kitchen, and I remember her telling me to turn the volume up so that she could hear the speaker. Her fear of God was such that she did not want to do anything that would cause God to judge her, and for others to do the same.

Mrs Tow would bless those who are serving the Lord and serving the Lord faithfully with the right heart. When she heard that one is doing this and that for the Lord, she would be very ready to say, “God bless you…”. She also said to me, “Good la, Eileen is trained, can help him (Rev Dr Jeffrey Khoo) in the ministry”, and that Rev Dr Jeffrey Khoo is a “good man”. Mrs Tow loved the Lord; she would not insist on her own will, but would always submit to God’s good will, no matter what it may be.

Mrs Tow loved God’s Word, and this was seen most memorably in how she would be so ready to hear God’s Word, even if it was brought to her by someone so much younger and ineloquent. I remember how I struggled in my heart to want to share God’s Word to encourage her. God gave me the grace and courage to do so in the end, well-prepared also to be scolded for not doing as well as she might want it to be. Despite how I felt, I could not forget Mrs Tow nodding to encourage me as I shared with her God’s Word.

At the hospital, God also gave me the grace and courage to share with her His Word from Psalm 23, reminding her that the Lord is our Shepherd, and praying also that His unfailing power, provision and presence all through life would be a comfort to her. When I asked if I could do so, Mrs Tow readily agreed, and after sharing God’s Word with her, Mrs Tow said to me most sincerely, “Thank you so much” (although I felt most undeserving) and asked me to also pray for her.

Thank and praise God for the life and ministry of Mrs Ivy Tow, and for all that she had taught us by example. Surely goodness and mercy had followed her all the days of her life, and she will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever (Ps 23:6).

[Mrs Ivy Tow went home to be with the Lord on 17 May 2024 at the age of 86. Karen Lee is an FEBC alumna who serves in Truth Bible-Presbyterian Church.]