“Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1 Thess 5:22)

NO LUNCHES ALONE WITH A WOMAN

Don Boys, PhD

Radical women are attacking Vice-President Mike Pence for not having lunch with a woman without his wife being present. Nor will he go to an event that serves booze if his wife is absent. [One] female writer declared, “he believes they [women] remain such fallen, lascivious things that he can’t possibly be in a room alone with them, it says less about his faith and more the fact he sees women as lesser beings.” The fact is she doesn’t know what he believes. If he really believes the Bible as he declares then he believes women and men are fallen beings capable of all kinds of evil. And the female critic put words into his mouth when she charges him of seeing women as “lesser beings.” As usual, liberals and progressives are the most dishonest, desperate, and doleful people alive.

Protecting Your Marriage

Pence’s concern over his marriage is admirable and should be emulated by every man. After all, no one will have a reason to make unfounded accusations if he follows that practice. If he is always faithful to that practice, he will never degrade his office, destroy his marriage, decimate his children or disgrace his Lord.

Pence is also castigated for calling his wife, Mother. Of course, the know-nothings in the media don’t know that such a practice is common in many homes as a part of teaching and reminding children to call her Mother. This failure only highlights the lack of sophistication and education on the part of progressives–i.e., haters of decency and normalcy.

Critics of Pence’s practice are oblivious to the many members of congress who came to Washington, leaving their families back in the hinterland, only to wind up in bed with some floozy. Sexual immorality is possible with any two humans, so sane people will be careful, not careless; thoughtful, not thoughtless; and realistic, not reckless. Of course, this practice should be followed in every profession!

Billy Graham and Jerry Falwell made it a practice to never be alone with a woman who was not a relative. In that respect, they were right on target. No doubt, they practiced that for the same reason I have always done so: because none of us are 100% reliable until we are dead and because of the possible appearance of wrongdoing.

As a young youth worker, I passed young ladies standing in the rain at bus stops lest I be seen alone with them in my car. While that seems extreme, I was never involved in a scandal in an occupation that is rife with scandals. I would do the same thing if I were starting out today. Through the years, I never put myself in a position where I might break my marriage vows or give my critics a reason to falsely accuse me. We are not to give any person a reason to suspect or accuse us of evil.

No Rubbing, Hugging, Sleeping

I have very dear lady friends who have contributed much to who I am. However, I would never consider taking one out to dinner, or rubbing their backs, or even hugging them. It would be presumptuous of me and untoward of me. One thing is sure: if you don’t hug them, you won’t sleep with them. This generation, especially young ladies, seem to hug everyone—even the mailman. A kind, gentle, friendly smile along with a handshake can convey love, friendship, appreciation, etc., as well as a hug but without the danger. And it is not realistic to minimize the danger.

I have never been a “hugger” but in recent years, I have broken that rule for old and dear friends. So, I am not a purist about hugging but I am prudent.

Not Fearful but Wise

Yes, Jesus dealt with women but there is not one example of Him being alone with a woman in a private place. Besides, I’m not Jesus. What’s wrong with being wise, not fearful, but wise? Why not have women counselling other women? All pastors, psychiatrists, therapists should have windows in office doors? Why not have your wife as an assistant?

The Apostle Paul knew there was danger in very close physical relationships. He told us to flee youth lusts. Moreover, the biggest reason I believe in being very careful about cross gender relationships is the appearance of evil. Paul warned in 1 Thessalonians 5:22, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” We cannot permit other people to control our lives but we must control our own by being circumspect in our relationships. Furthermore, I fall back on my lifetime principle of “being too narrow rather than being too broad.” That is a good rule-of-thumb that usually works.

I read a blog by a woman who promotes cross gender relationships and it was fraught with problems. She admitted that her new husband (after she divorced her first one who was a skirt chaser) had chosen to take her last name. That is not traditional or scriptural. When God married Adam and Eve, their name was Adam. Genesis 5:2 reveals, “Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.”

Plus, since the husband is the head of the family, she should take his name. He is responsible for her provision, her safety, and her debts.

Yield Not to Temptation

Why would one not want to be with a wife/husband? A wife is a completer of her husband and a husband is a protector of his wife. I have no desire to have a relationship that excludes my wife. Why would I willingly put myself in the place of temptation? I don’t trust myself since God says that it is difficult to know your own heart.

A husband is not complete without his wife, and a wife is not complete without her husband; so if I am complete, I don’t really need anyone else. God created Adam and Eve and God said unto them, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” but Adam could not do it alone! Eve completed the plan that made mankind possible. Gen. 2:18 tells us that God said that it is not good for man to be alone so He created Eve for him and for the world. God said, “I will make him an help meet for him.”

APPROPRIATE DRESS: CONCEALING NOT REVEALING!

Don Boys, PhD

An old saying tells us “Clothes make the man” (or woman), but an even older saying is “the habit does not make the monk.” Both are partly true. I have met men and women who were impeccably dressed with everything matching and very expensive accessories but they were people without character, charm, or civility. Good, elegant dress does not mean that one has good principles or is a person you would want as a dinner guest. In like manner, because a person is very casual in his dress does not indicate he is without principles.

However, while the habit does not make the monk, it does identify him and it affects the way everyone looks at him. How a person dresses also affects how he or she looks at himself or herself.

Self-Control and Good Discipline

As an educator, I noticed that when students were better dressed it influenced their self-control. Uniforms are even a better guarantee of good discipline. So clothes are important. I would be horrified if my wife or daughters dressed the way most professing Christians dress. It is bad enough for teens to dress with their rears and bosoms on display but to see a 45-year-old woman do so is pathetic. Others, wearing short, seductive dresses, sit displaying the charm and grace of an obese elephant sitting on a bar stool.

I must say that my mother (even when she was not a Christian), my deceased wife, my present wife, and my daughters were/are the epitome of modesty. I have never been embarrassed or ashamed of any of them, not in the way they dressed or the way they acted.

Modesty and Respect

People go to church, to weddings and to funerals dressed as street urchins but they would not visit the Queen or the President dressed that way. Those loose dressers use “being comfortable” as the determining factor in choosing clothes but that dog won’t hunt. While doing conferences in Japan, a Marine captain who was my driver, told us that he would have to adjust our schedule the next day because he had to see the general. He of course would wear his dress blues with highly polished shoes, a clean shave and combed hair. He was showing respect for a superior officer, his boss. It didn’t matter how uncomfortable he might be in the hot weather.

Others use the culture as an excuse to expose themselves; however, while culture, fashions, etc., constantly change, modesty is always demanded. If one takes the position that modesty is controlled by the crowd, customs, culture, and circumstances then they can also plead that honesty is dependent on the crowd, customs, culture, and circumstances. No honest person really believes that.

It seems active Christians think the above excuse changes the rules temporarily but that is not so. No Christian girl should lower herself to fashion simply because she is a bride or bride’s maid. “But all the dresses are strapless and very, very low,” says an excited bride-to-be. All right, then don’t have a formal wedding or have a seamstress redesign your dress. I recently saw where a bride had purchased a strapless dress and had a beautiful top made for it. Modesty is always in. Immodesty is always out.

Children are permitted to watch all the silly shows on television and movies that brutally attack everything godly, good, and graceful. I just saw four or five dolls dressed as street walkers. Of course, little girls will be impressed to dress similar to them or at least defend such dress. I would not purchase such dolls.

Setting Standards

Christians should dress as Christians at all times—understanding the occasion, the time, and all circumstances. After all, we should set the standards not follow them.

This is no plea for the burqa, only attractive dress that covers what sane people have always known should be covered. For sure, no one should dress to tease, tempt, or tantalize others.

Jerome in the fourth century scolded a Roman woman: “Your vest is slit on purpose….Your breasts are confined in strips of linen, your chest is imprisoned in a tight girdle…your shawl sometimes drops so as to leave your white shoulders bare; and then it hastily hides what it intentionally revealed.” Not many preachers like Jerome today.

Most modern preacher stay away from the dress issue the way a mythical vampire flees the sun light.

[Dr Don Boys is an Independent Baptist evangelist now living in Ringgold, Georgia, USA. He spent 30 years in Indianapolis as an evangelist, administrator of the Baptist Academy, author, and member of the Indiana House of Representatives. Source: http://donboys.cstnews.com.]